-I'm THAT Guy!

Here's a little poem / short story / whatever I wrote. I call it:

I'm THAT Guy

I'm the guy that'll open the car door everytime.
I make fuckin' sweet omlets.
Dude, I'll kick his ass if he tries to hurt you.
I'm THAT Guy.

I might not find that G-spot the first time, but know this;
It's my mission to make you feel THAT good
I don't care if it takes all night, all week, or a friggin month
I'm THAT Guy.

You wanna borrow my sneakers?
Baby, they're too big for ya, but I'll letcha try 'em on anyway,
And take a picture of it and put it on FACEBOOK
I'm THAT Guy.

Why you crying sweetheart?
Your momma got cancer...oh my god.
I'll drive you the eight hours to see her...right now, fuck my old plans.
I'm THAT Guy.

You need a friend cause you caught your girl cheating?
No bro, she ain't worth shooting.
Let's go have a beer...or TEN. It's on me bro.
I'm THAT Guy.

Stuck in a ditch with baddies in every direction?
Hey, I'm stuck here with ya, they'll have to get through me.
Before they can take you out, brother.
I'm THAT Guy.

Trying everyday, mostly for no reason.
I won't ever quit, not until I die.
Somebody's gotta at least appreciate that!
I'm THAT Guy.

Spoil a spoiled girl rotten.
Just to make it hard for the next guy.
Even if she isnt' worth it.
I'm THAT Guy.

Hell yeah I'll learn another language!
And not just so I can curse at people in traffic.
I wanna whisper sweet SOMETHINGS in your ear...in French...Or Italian...Or Japanese.
I'm THAT Guy.

When you go too far I'm gonna tell ya.
Because you and I both know you're better than that.
You better do the same for me, because I'm damn sure not perfect.
I'm THAT Guy.