-4th of July wa Ichiban Desu!!

Ok, so I'm back from Virginia. It was fun, but that little trip is over, so we're concentrating on the present. Today is the 4th of July. I love the 4th. It's the shit. Why? Because I'm a fuckin' patriot, that's why. Enough said. So, today was pretty interesting. Lot's of unexpected things went down today. I got this whole new life philosophy. I-ching. Improvise, adapt, ovecome. Roll with it. Ok, ok, that's a stolen line (and badly misquoted I'm sure) from Collateral but I don't give much of a shit. I spent the better part of last night (the part AFTER I unpacked and shit) watching chic-flicks with Ahi-Ahi, my new favorite person. During the first movie, she asked if she could give me a super top secret Japanese massage. Being the former International Relations major that I am, I could hardly refuse. She had her way with my back for the last half of the first movie and the better part of the second movie (yes, I watched two chic-flicks in one night, so sue me). Needless to say, my back feels great. After all that hiking, climbing, manual labor, and a 13 hour road-trip (yeah right!) I really needed a back rub and Ahi-Ahi was right there to deliver. She's great, unlike the fucktard I used to date. What was her name...? I'm starting to forget. In any case, the previously mentioned fuck-tard has been utterly and thouroughly replaced by a REAL Asian. That's right folks. Not a Flip...not a Korean...not a Chinese...no, we're only taking applicants of the highest possible caliber these days. That's right, a full on, billionth generation Japanese. Ahi-Ahi is the entire package. First generation (hell, she's not even that!), an absolute cutie, smart, flirtatious, open to improvisation, and (most importantly) head over heals in love with me! Now, before you go thinking I'm a pretentious, cocky prick, understand one thing. When I met Ahi, I didn't care if we were friends or not. I had no plans with her. I forced nothing, manipulated no situations. I merely let her make her own decisions, did nothing to forward my own schemes and let the "chips fall where they may." The result? I'll explain it in HER words: "I am very easily falling in love with you." How could this woman possible fall in love with the tattooed, bearded, dirty, nasty, knife toting, curse-word-spitting likes of little old me? I
I'll tell you, venerable reader...

Apparently when I left for my unscheduled (and rather lucrative and prodictive) trip to No-Vag-Inia (read Virginia) Ahi was utterly heartbroken. She took solice in the arms of her good friend, Michiko. She cried, told Michiko (not her real name, duh!) how much she missed me...even texted me a half-dozen times. I'm not tooting my own horn, I'm just adding detail here. So anyway, I get back yesterday and of course, she's on the very-short list of peopel to call. Of course she wants to see me and we end up watching movies at her place. The massage happens, things are good. I hold off making a serious move last night...you know, I tried to play it cool. So I ask her what she's doing on the 4th. Ya see, I already had plans to hook up with this other girl, but unfortunately (for one of us...I still haven't figured out which) she never returned my text / voicemail. So, girl numbe rone doesn't get to meet my 'rents, doesn't get to see me huff across the finish line of a sprint triathalon...such is life. So I ask Ahi what her plans for the 4th are. Being a Japanese, she of course has NO PLANS FOR THE 4th of JULY!!! Makes sense. So we pack up the Green Monster, and head to Pass-A-Grille...my number one romance place, as it were. Here's the formula:
1) Have a female handy, preferably one you trust and respect, although this is not mandatory
2) Fireworks...and not shit you brough on your own
3) Ocean....you need some ocean for this
4) Sunset
5) Balls (if you don't bring those, you're gonna be outta luck)

So we're watching the sunset at Pass-A-Grille, it's the 4th of July, there's fireworks going off, the ocean is lapping, we're sitting on the beach her in front, me in the back. What else is there to say? I gotta tell ya...falling in love is great, if you're tough enough. If you don't understand what I mean, you'll probably find out the hard way.